what do I do ,Hell If I know anymore, having two men want you is alot more deep then if I think I'm willing to deal with .The one I'm married too is the best thing that ever happened to me .But the lover is all I have ever wanted in a man in the bedroom .Now don't get me wrong my husband is good in bed.But hes always to worried about hurting me .He just cant seem to get the fact that I need him to get wild with me.HE does to an extend but not as far as I would Like him to go.Oh god what am I going to do .I love my family but on days when everything is going ass backwards and it is all just to much .I think How it easy at this point in my life it would be able to walk away from it all.but i can't leave my kids or break the ol'mans heart like that. but if it werent for the kids i just might.god forgive me for being selfess
but sometimes you have to be too be happy with yourself maybe i'm wrong hell at this point i dont know if I care anymore. Loving two men is killing me. And one of these days I'm going to have too decide which one of them means more too me the life I have or the one I could have . Or the fact my kids are my world and I cant leave them behind. And I'm to damn old to wait till thet groww up.I'll be fourty neat year and when the youngest is old enough he would get over me walking away I'll in my fifties .So what is girl too do
suffer I guess .one of these days it is all going catch up with me .